While I Was Away

Hi everyone,

It’s been awhile since I wrote what I’d call a meaningful post. I’m not one to constantly share and update my daily life and I’m finally at peace with that. I wanted to be the kind of author and filmmaker who keeps their fans in the loop, but that’s just not me. However, I will give a big update on what life has been doling out while I’ve been living it just in case enquiring minds want to know. :-)

Where to start? I left a well paid job behind because I hated what I was doing and I realised a long time ago that I wasn’t a nine to five corporate worker. I disliked office politics and the sorts of things people did to each other to get ahead. I just wasn’t sharky enough, my skin was not thick enough and my facial expressions were never unreadable enough to play the corporate game. So instead I jumped from the frying pan into an active volcano and my life hasn’t been the same since I made the decision to pursue a career in the film industry.  It’s been a very interesting time, there have been highs and there have been lows.  One of the lows I remember was being told I didn’t have enough experience to be selected for a TRAINING position on one of the many schemes that exist for up and coming directors.  And this was said to me despite the fact that I had several short films in my portfolio which I’d written, produced and directed. The gentleman who interviewed me also proceeded to tell me how he thought I wouldn’t be able to handle the talent and was told to reapply next year when I had more experience under my belt.  And this was for a traineeship. So I went home and sobbed for awhile, because that is what I do when I’m bitterly disappointed and then I picked myself up and kept it moving, because that’s also what I need to do to survive. There are lots of other lows, but this one stands out because it was a turning point for me.  I realised I can’t be that person who is on the outside begging to be let in, I’ve just got to go off and do my own thing and make my films without so called industry funding.  As the saying goes, if you build it they will come.  It’s harder to get stuff made, cos you’re constantly begging for favours and can’t pay people what they’re worth, (which I hate doing). So far, I’ve been managed to make five short films. now I just need to find a way to get find funding for my feature film ideas/scripts.

So onto the highs. I’ve posted most of those on my news page. My short experimental animation was screened at International Film Festival Rotterdam (IFFR) at the beginning of the year.  My first time at a major festival as a guest and not a spectator looking in. :-) I had a great time and really wished I could’ve stayed longer.  Last year I went to Ouagadougou for the Ouaga Film Lab, my project Imagine This was selected as one of the projects.  This year I’ll be off to Durban in a couple of weeks as part of Durban Talents and I’m also part of this year’s BAFTA Crew.  So I’ve made some gains. It’s been so going but I do feel like a making some progress.  I do know I’d probably have made more progress if I’d been the sort of person who blows their own trumpet, but I find it very uncomfortable and I don’t know why.  I want to be that person who goes up to someone and says ‘Hi I’m Sade, I’m an award winning author and filmmaker.’ Just writing it down makes me feel pretentious. UGH. Off topic but slightly related, several years ago, I gatecrashed a book editors dinner, during the London Book Fair and was the only writer in the room.  The publisher who invited me introduced me to several people as the winner of the Commonwealth Prize then went off to network.  I regurgitated my story of self-publishing and was commended by them. Later on when we all sat down to dinner, I happened to sit opposite a woman who refused to talk to me the minute  I told her I was a self-published author. She completely blanked me for the rest of the evening. Surreal doesn’t even begin to explain how I felt when her head swivelled round like she was possessed because someone I was introduced to earlier came over to gush about my accolades. I suddenly became interesting merely because I could add award winning in front of self-published author.