I’m definitely becoming self obsessed. I can’t seem to stop googling myself to see if anything else pops up. It’s like a sickness and I can’t seem to find a cure. I have to at least google my name a minimum of six times a day, just in case I missed something the previous times I gazed glassy eyed at my monitor. Now I’m working on a system to gradually wean myself away from reviews and anything Imagine This related. It is hard, but I know I can survive. Already I’m beginning to feel the sharp withdrawal pains, but I shall resist.

Maybe this is a mistake, instead of going cold turkey I should just cut the hours spent looking for myself in cyberspace down. On the other hand, if I hadn’t been obsessively looking for a mention of my name, I would never have found this. You’re no doubt wondering what the issue is, well cast your mind back to this blog entry. Do you know what’s going to happen next! The dates are going to roll round, people are going to turn up and I’m going to be the one who disappoints the children. My name and a ruined reputation before it’s even been formed. I can just imagine the talk around the water cooler.

Mandy, Jackie and Sandra were standing by the coke machine waiting for the IT guy to finish his cabling. There was no point going back to their desks to get any work done, they’d become a paperless office six months ago.

Jackie: Is everyone on board for the festival?
Sandra: (Rolling her eyes.) I wish, I just had one Prima Donna pull out, ‘cos we couldn’t pay her.
Mandy: Really, I thought you had a budget.
Sandra: I do, but it’s for established authors, they bring in the crowds.
Jackie: So who you going to replace her with?
Sandra: I don’t know, the Diva pulled out at the Ff***ing last minute.
Mandy: I bet she doesn’t get out of bed for anything less than £500.00.
Sandra: And she hasn’t even written a bestselling book.
Jackie: Cheeky bugger.
Sandra: I told her she could sell her books at the event.
Mandy: I guess she feels she should get paid too.
Sandra: Whatever, anyway we can’t afford to pay her and it’s her loss.
Mandy: Or ours, it all depends on how you look at it.


So maybe my imagination is a little overactive, but I like Mandy, I think. In the meantime, I’ve sent Sandra an email asking her to remove my details from their publicity, which is a bit like closing the gate after the horse has bolted. Oh what joy.

I am a Prima Donna and I will not get out of bed for less than £1000. Actually, I would have done it for free, if she hadn’t inferred that my work had less merit because I am an unknown author. I know, pride goeth before fall.