So went to Spain to write and ended up dong very little.  Pray tell, what else has changed?  Let’s just say it was no big suprise to me, the suprise was that I got anything done at all.

For too long I’ve let my fears crush me and hold me captive.  I think I’ve reached the bottom and the only way out is to start writing.  To write without fear or judgement of others.  All I can really do is write the story inside and hope it resonates with readers (if I get lucky enough for it to get published).

So my game plan is before I go to bed every night to review what I’ve written and decided what scenes I will write the next day.  I find that if I think in scenes instead of word count, the whole process seems less overwhelming and more inviting.  If I think of it in terms of I’ve got to write 10,000 in a day, then I start to get a huge lump in my throat, my stomach muscles tighten and I think to myself, where will all those words come from?

So, now that the holidays are over, I must go to work; starting tomorrow.  I’ll ease myself in, I might even work up enough courage to go to the gym.  So game plan for 4 Jan 2009 is to finish the DCS Hatton scene which was started in Spain and also go to the gym.  

Well the gym is a wish, it may not happen. It all depends on what time I wake up.  The scene, however will be written.  This is one promise I have to keep, I’m tired of looking into my own eyes and seeing the disappointment, of feeling the sharp bite of despair everytime someone asks ‘how’s the second book coming? You finished it yet? How do I explain the lump in the throat and the silken cords of fear that have kept me inert?

We’ll see what tomorrow brings, there is hope as long as I’m breathing.